


But When I Look Into Your Eyes, You Make Me Want To

by orphan_account



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: But I didn't write that part, Cyrus gets embarrassed, Cyrus is a rebel and a softie, Cyrus really wants to conserve his innocence but wants to have sex too, It's about their first time!!, M/M, Tj gets soft, Tj really cares about him, god these tags suck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:22:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22937809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: When Cyrus and Tj get into a steamy make out session for the first time, they discover their also ready for something else.(No smut, I set up the scene. Tj and Cyrus are in junior year, both 17 years old.)
Relationships: Cyrus Goodman & Leslie Goodman, Cyrus Goodman/T. J. Kippen, T. J. Kippen & T. J. Kippen's Mother
Kudos: 83





	But When I Look Into Your Eyes, You Make Me Want To

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: earlier today (while starting to make this), I said that I wanted to make a one-shot about tj and cyrus being in junior year and wanting to take the next step in their relationship. sex will be heavily mentioned, and I will set up the scene, not actually writing smut. this a/n is very important because sex is a very sensitive topic in the andi mack fandom, and people writing smut have gotten lots — and I mean lots — of hate for writing it. I just want to say, you clicked on it and have no reason to hate on my work I choose to write. You can skip this oneshot, or not read my fics at all anymore. so without further ado for the people still reading this: the story that will probably be on the longer side.

Cyrus' POV

Tj's hands found their way to my hair as I kissed and sucked on his neck, his warm breath filling the room's silence. We were studying for finals, but then he looked at me with that look. Like longed to be with me. Like I was the only person in the world besides him. Like he wanted to drop everything we were doing just to make me climb onto his lap and make out forever.

The funny part? That's actually what happened. Well, not the forever part.

My legs were tangled around his back, my hands below his shirt running up and down his smooth skin as I continued to leave marks all over his neck. We've never gone this far. Always just made out, and always stopped before it got too heated. But this time was . . . different.

One kiss led to two, then three, then ten. His hands found my bottom, and his lips met my neck, his teeth biting into it as he sucked the marks he left. My polo ended up on the floor — even more marks . . .

But then I got lost in the feeling, the adrenaline pumping through me, the temperature in the room getting hotter and hotter, the feeling of Tj's hands exploring my body was all so new and exhilarating. This had been going on for hours, and neither of us looked like we wanted to stop anytime soon. 

I accidentally rolled my hips, and Tj ended up groaning, as I let out a soft moan. I pulled away from his neck, as he looked me in the eyes. As I did though, the world came to its senses, and all I could think about where the dangers of going farther — farther than where we are now. The part that's sad about it is that I really want to. 

Thoughts had overfilled my mind as if it was cold water spilling down my back. Tj's eyes were scanning my face for any sign to stop. I didn't show any though, and I probably should have. He opened his mouth to speak once or twice, but then closed it again. He loves me, and I love him. We've been together for three years, and I can tell he's touch starved. But when I look into his eyes, he really makes me want to feel him close to me, and love me in a way we both haven't experienced yet.

So why not risk it al

~•~

"Hey, Cyrus! How was Tj's?" My mom asked as I walked through the door. After the . . . the thing happened, Tj's mom came home from work, and Tj didn't want his poor mom to see him making out/doing some other stuff with me. So he stole some of his sister's foundation and concealer, hoping it would mix to make our skin colors. He and Amber (his sister), have the same skin color, but I didn't so we had to use the concealer to make the shade lighter. Both of us didn't know how to use makeup (and only ever gave each other a few hickys), so we never really had to use makeup, so we were both pretty proud of ourselves.

"U-Um . . . okay?" I mumbled as I slid my hands deeper into Tj's pastel pink hoodie I stole from him on my way home, in case the makeup wore off somehow. My mom eyed me like she knew something, but I tried to keep a straight face. I didn't want to blow my cover, because that would get me in the most trouble ever.

"Cyrus, you suck at makeup and lying. You know that right?" She said.

I'm officially dead.

“Did you and Tj have sex?" This is what I hate about having four shrinks as parents: they find out everything, and can read you like an open book. I could easily get away with this if my mom didn't deal with people in the same situations as I am in now. Another thing I don't like is that she knows everything that goes on between us, and when I came home from that party in eighth grade: she guessed it.

"Your happy. Did you finally get a girlfriend that will last longer then two weeks?"

She was obviously wrong on one part — I corrected her, but I knew she had to except me. She was a therapist for crying out loud. She would ultimately loose patients because a lot of the LGBTQIA+ community went to therapy. 

I didn't want to talk about sex with her.

I didn't want her to tell my dad.

I didn't want her to make everything a mess.

I didn't even think. I followed my feet up the stairs, slamming the door. I leaned against it as I slid down the cold wood, sending a chill down my back. I can confront her later, but not now. I don't think I could ever confront her. I'm her son, her innocent little son, the one who doesn't disappoint and definitely— definitely doesn't want to have sex with his boyfriend.

The thoughts of how awkward it would be to have that conversation with my mom about this kicks into my brain, and all I want to do is cry. I don't think I'm ready, but I'm ready. Does that even make any sense? Like at all? It doesn't for me. But then, at some point, I'm tempted to look back on the experience.

My hands running up and down his smooth skin.

No.

He let out a groan as I let out a soft moan.

Oh no, make it stop.

My polo on the floor, leading to more ma—

We need to talk. We really, really need to talk.

~•~

"You look way too cute right now, Muffin."

We were studying, but at the same time, our legs were tangled together as we leaned against Tj's headboard. The sun was going down, and Tj's Mom was about to go on a date night with this new guy she met. I don't know a lot about her, but Tj says she's come really far in her dating life. Something must have happened in her past that effected her deeply. I don't really mind knowing why though — so I went with it.

There is one thing about Tj though. I've been dating him for years, but he still knows how to make me blush. I hate it, but love it at the same time. He know some me like an open book. Inside and out. Every line, every word, every moment. So if he could find any way to make me flustered as fuck, he would instantly.

"Your nicknames for me are going to be the death of me. I still haven't came up with a good one! And it's been three years!" At that, Tj crawls over to me, wrapping his arms around my back from behind me. Tj is actually a lot taller than me. He was 6'4" while I was a mere 5'4". So whenever he does that, he towers over me. I kind of like it though, it makes me feel small in a good way.

“Hey! I uh . . . actually wanted to talk to you about something. It's um perfect timing since my Mom won't be here. Actually, if she was here she would probably want to do this for me and make this awkward conversation 10x longer than it needs to be. I don't want to to it like way." Tj said that as if he mumbled and rapped it at the same time. He was scared, I could definitely tell. So I tried to calm him down before doing anything else.

“Teej you were rambling. So whatever it is, you'll be fine. Just try to pace yourself, okay?" That seemed to calm him down a little bit, and that made me happy for a split second. But then I saw the look on his face, and he looked so serious. I feels like he was in a monotone, no color on his face. And that's what scared me the most. So a crossed my fingers, and hoped this wasn't as bad as he's making it look.

“I uh, wanna be . . . intimate with you? Or something? I have no experience in this department, and I'm sure you don't too. That's why I wanted to a slightly decent boyfriend and at least try to tell you. Oh wait shit sorry I'm rambling again."

I breath out due to relief, and un-cross my fingers.

Here's the thing: I'm not quite sure. I've definitely have urges, but most of the time I ignore them completely. And since I've never experimented on my own, I have 0 experience in this department. So it's pretty obvious that I'm afraid it's not going to be pleasant of either of us just because of myself.

But I really, really want to try though. For both of us. But what happened a few days ago — we've never gone that far. It's always been making out and innocent touches, but it evolved into something more, and I'm scared. It felt so . . . reliving though. Maybe I'm not ready for the whole thing. Maybe I have to get used to whatever we were doing a few days ago before I do anything more. 

But when I look in his eyes, he makes me want to. But it's never been so hard to announce my thoughts to him before. 

“I uh, definitely wanna take it slow if we do that. That really stinks though we've been taking it slow for the past three years." I'm scared. I'm really scared. But for some time, we both sit there silent. Part of that is me zoned out, so far out I won't be coming out of my void of thought unless someone shook me. But then I become slightly concerned when Tj is silent too, and I start to come out of my rut. The silence was just too loud.

“I-I wanna do something."

And then it was broken.

It was the softest thing I ever had heard come out of his mouth besides the first time he said "I love you". It was so gentle, so reassuring that I'm almost not scared to just have sex with him right then and there. But then, when I played his words over and over in my, he could want to do anything after I say some form of okay. Trusting is part of a relationship though, a part that Tj and I might as well have too much of.

“Sure." I return, but in an instant clarity, all of a sudden, I almost wish I didn't.

"Did you know, that since it's almost summer and my mom thought we never use my pool her the brilliant idea to put LED lights in it and blow her savings?" I couldn't help but laugh, not just because of his Moms poor financial decisions, but after a long lasting tension in the room, it felt like as if something needed to make us laugh after that serious, awkward, and scary solid twenty minutes of sitting.

I don't think he was laughing at the pool either.

My head ended up in his lap due to laughing so much, and I felt my face heat up from where exactly my head and my mouth was on his lap. Then we were laughing again (while my face was furiously red, but not caring). I sat up, and tangled my legs with his again. For some reason through, I get flashbacks to the Christmas party I had back in 8th grade. (a/n: aka go read It's just a kiss, right? Both parts! One of my favorites of my writing.) 

We're close again. We're really close. So I kiss him, like anyone else would with their boyfriend of three years just after that situation. It's a pretty quick one, but it has so much meaning and life to it. Almost wanting to kiss him more, but not wanting him to get the wrong idea from it, I pull away. We both have smiles on our faces, so wide our faces might hurt. But it doesn't matter anymore. 

Nothing does.

~•~

“Now that it's actually dark out, wanna go to the now colorful pool?" Tj asks me. This time, we actually got done studying, us both feeling really accomplished even the we did what we were supposed to. I really want to see what it now looks like, but I have no swimsuit, probably making this all kinds of awkward.

“I would love to, but I have no swimsuit." I awkwardly laugh, and it's silent again while Tj zones out in thought for a second and blushes immediately after. I don't know what his thought process was, but I can get an idea from the order of events that just happened, letting out a chuckle.

“Well, yeah. Unless you wanted to try and squeeze into one of Ambers that wouldn't work." He paused, I laughed. "Why are you laughing that was the worst joke yet!" I love him. I love him so much. These little moments just like these we have every day mean the world to me. Not seeing his smile one day, sets the rest of the day up to be the worst. 

Remember when I said I was really small compared to Tj? Key words: compared to Tj. He grew that tall. I'm still bigger than Amber, I'm actually almost the average height — almost.

”Actually, last time you swam here, you left you're swim trunks here. You want them?" 

“Sure!" I night in the pool with Tj sounded like a dream come alive, or something stupidly romantic, but since when did I care? I never did, and I never will. So I slipped off my jeans, shirt and underwear, pulling on my swim trucks. They were smaller on me than last year, meaning that I probably grew — but they still fit so it didn't really matter. Plus I wasn't going to be out in public anyway, so if something were to happen it would be fine.

After we got changed, we went outside feeling the chill of the summer breeze on our backs. The sun had just set, some left behind hues of pink and light blue in the sky. In all of a sudden, Tj pressed a button and everything seemed to come to life. Lights would go in a synchronized order of color, and steam started to hover over the top of the pool.

I can see why his Mom wanted this so much, and to be honest — I would waste my savings on something like this too. I look over to Tj, and see he was already staring at me. The light was currently purple, and it toned Tj's skin and the color swam in his eyes along with the green rimmed by an ocean blue. We're we just . . . admiring each other? I mean, I have no problem with it. But we stood there, with soft smiles for no exact reason.

After a minute or so, Tj's smile turned to a smirk and ran behind me, pushing me in the water. Yelling in surprise, I crash into the water seeing that it was beautiful underwater too. A few seconds later, I heard Tj jump into the water in front of me. We floated up above the surface, and caught ourselves in a fit of laughter.

We seemed to do a lot of that today.

But then, the laughter died down and we were looking at each other. He was breathtaking, like a piece of art. I always wanted to be with him like this. His stare was different though, and I could tell mine was different too. I felt like I needed him somehow, yet I didn't know how yet. There was a certain heat, but it wasn't hot. I looked into his eyes, and that was my final mistake. 

He makes me want to do this with him. If there's anyone I should loose my virginity to, it should be him. Love like this doesn't come every time, so I should cherish and savor every moment. Falling for him was like a habit, it was already there. I feel myself drifting closer to him, the water rippling as I take each small, hesitate step. We don't break our gaze, like it's our lifeline. 

As if we were magnets pulled together for pure need to be together, a pair of lips ended up on mine. I kiss back a little firmer as my hands find their way to his waste, wrapping my arms around him, pressing out bodies together. His hands run up and down my torso, leaving goosebumps all over my skin. I don't think I'll ever get use to this contact, and that's fine. 

He brings his lips to my neck, leaving soft kisses on the right side. He said what he said he was going to do, go slow. And I can't lie that this is so much more gentle and caring (compared to us in his bedroom a few days ago like we were in some type of Wattpad smut novel, fan fiction or not). I love him with my whole being, but I really want him to go faster than a turtle trying to cross the finish line, but just not getting there yet. Leave a mark already!

Hey, isn't that what you wanted? The real thoughts of Cyrus Goodman? Deal with it.

He starts to move a little faster, almost like he read my mind. Leaving behind a mark or two, I realized something. Everything we have done like this, Tj was in control of. Every mark, every extreme touch he imitated first, every time he had made the first move. I wanted to change that. I made him pull away from neck, feeling the summer wind on my neck again made a chill go down my spine, but I didn't care.

I smirked at him, and he had a questioning face before I dove back in to kiss him firmly on the lips. Feeling Tj smile against my lips, I knew this was defiantly progress. It was my own way of saying this was okay and perfectly normal. But before we move on if we end up having sex tonight, I want to do something.

I move my lips to his neck, leaving a trail of soft kisses leading down from his ear. When I get to the mid section of the left of his neck, I softly bit down, sucking on the spot as I flicked my tongue over the spot I bit. I didn't really know how to give a hicky exactly, but I thought I was doing a decent job for my first time. After a while, I stoped sucking on the spot and released seeing that I successfully left one. I felt proud of myself, and left a kiss over it before leaving more kisses on his neck.

I felt like I was in some perfect movie with a perfect setting and perfect chemistry, and I was okay with that. Because this is our story, and it's just beginning with another big step. I was ready, and he was ready. With hearts heavy with love, and minds full of happiness, this could go anywhere. But as long as I'm with him, it doesn't matter. Nothing does, because when I'm with him we're the only things that do.

Tj Kippen and Cyrus Goodman against the world.


End file.
